in this book i’m reading it says “he plucked a flower and stuck it in his buttonhole” and i completely misread it and now im laughing im actually 5 years old
They say you’re not a true solider of the Survey Corps until you krump with your Commander.
If you haven’t seen this scene from Community, I highly recommend it.
"she’s being a bitch i bet she’s on her period"
my celebrity crushes always start with “who the hell is this” and always turn into “that’s his right nostril I can tell”
he was a boy, she was a girl, could i make it anymore heteronormative
Adapt to this
LET ME JUST POINT OUT THE VARIOUS FLAWS OF LOGIC HERE. FIRST OF ALL DARWINS POWER IS TO LITERALLY ADAPT TO ANYTHING IN THE EFFING UNIVERSE. HIS POWERS DEEMED IT TOO DANGEROUS TO FIGHT THE HULK AND TELEPORTED HIM TO ANOTHER COUNTRY. HE ONCE BECAME PURE COSMIC EFFING ENERGY AND SHORTLY AFTER REMATERIALIZED AS A HUMAN BEING TO PREVENT HIS DEATH. DARWIN IS LITERALLY INEFFINGVINCIBLE. AND YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT A PATHETIC BALL OF KINETIC ENERGY FROM SEBASTIAN SHAW MERKS HIM?!?!?! THEY OBVIOUSLY ARE OUT TO KILL THE BLACK MAN IN THE PLOT AND LITERALLY WROTE THIS SCENE WITH NO REGARDS TO DARWINS POWERS WHATSOEVER AND ITS FRUSTRATING THAT THEY WOULD GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO KILL HIM OFF LIKE THAT
I’m saying. Even in sci fi we ain’t safe
in my headcanon darwin literally became a being of energy and ascended to another plain of existence so he doesn’t have to deal with anymore of this white nonsense
i was SO tight about this bullshit
only like a 1% of the population can make ‘your mom’ jokes without crying
So this tie
Moriarty in BBC Sherlock wears it
Then there’s Benedict Cumberbatch wearing it for an interview
And then there’s this handsome motherfucker in Doctor Who
Welcome to the BBC
we have one tie
i would describe myself as a “stay-at-home dragon”
took the bus home,
carried both bags with two good arms back to my studio apartment
and cooked myself dinner.
You and I may have different definitions of a good day.
This week, I paid my rent and my credit card bill,
worked 60 hours between my two jobs,
only saw the sun on my cigarette breaks
and slept like a rock.
Flossed in the morning,
locked my door,
and remembered to buy eggs.
My mother is proud of me.
It is not the kind of pride she brags about at the golf course.
She doesn’t combat topics like, ”My daughter got into Yale”
with, ”Oh yeah, my daughter remembered to buy eggs”
But she is proud.
See, she remembers what came before this.
The weeks where I forgot how to use my muscles,
how I would stay as silent as a thick fog for weeks.
She thought each phone call from an unknown number was the notice of my suicide.
These were the bad days.
My life was a gift that I wanted to return.
My head was a house of leaking faucets and burnt-out lightbulbs.
Depression, is a good lover.
So attentive; has this innate way of making everything about you.
And it is easy to forget that your bedroom is not the world,
That the dark shadows your pain casts is not mood-lighting.
It is easier to stay in this abusive relationship than fix the problems it has created.
Today, I slept in until 10,
cleaned every dish I own,
fought with the bank,
took care of paperwork.
You and I might have different definitions of adulthood.
I don’t work for salary, I didn’t graduate from college,
but I don’t speak for others anymore,
and I don’t regret anything I can’t genuinely apologize for.
And my mother is proud of me.
I burned down a house of depression,
I painted over murals of greyscale,
and it was hard to rewrite my life into one I wanted to live
But today, I want to live.
I didn’t salivate over sharp knives,
or envy the boy who tossed himself off the Brooklyn bridge.
I just cleaned my bathroom,
did the laundry,
called my brother.
Told him, “it was a good day.
|—||Kait Rokowski (A Good Day)|
eating bread crumbs in front of pigeons in order to assert dominance
Marvel Meme, six artist
Ellen gives Edgar the pizza guy at the Oscars a $1,000 tip (x)